I feel somewhat honored that God has called both Jeffery and I to share what we feel is God’s will. I know this might be a bit unheard of when it comes to my styling and beauty bargains blogging.
But, God has challenged us the last few months and finally, instead of fighting him I have now given it all to him. Praise God for that! What peace I have now.
And he has allowed me to share with you our struggles, both past and current. For what reason, I’m not sure.
I just know that he has called me to do this. I pray that you too can get some peace and understanding of what God’s will is in your life.
Let me start by telling you I struggle with having control, that’s one of the hardest things as Christians is to allow God to take complete control of our lives.
Before I started my blog I felt like I was out of control on so many different levels. I hated myself for not being confident enough to explore my dreams. I was bitter and questioned myself everyday.
How selfish I was. I married a wonderful man who supported me and continues to support me. I have a family and friends who encouraged me and trusted in me. But, I just couldn’t get past the idea that I could have done better.
Fast forward a few years later. I will admit I probably wasn’t relying on God as much as should or could have in my life.
Both Jeffery and I were being tested. I lost my job, we struggled getting pregnant, had terrible migraines and I just felt like I wouldn’t fit anywhere when it came to finding the right job for me.
Was I selfish? Yes! Was I bitter? Yes! Did I question? Of course!
In all reality folks, how exhausting does that sound? To question God all the time, to be so bitter and to stay selfish. This was not good for me or my marriage.
I finally realized I could not do this on my own. The journey that God was allowing us to take, I wasn’t willing to trust it so I prayed. I prayed hard.
We found a church home and I learned to trust in the Lord, to give up the control I struggled with. And realized God’s will was to trust in him.
God’s will was for me to start my dream job, simply by blogging and reaching out to God’s women.
Ok, so I laugh about this all the time. God opened doors for me and I was so very grateful. Were they the doors that I thought I would walk through? Nope. But you know what, it’s God’s will and I am seeing this more and more every day.
Writing is not my thing but God has given me the resources to learn and get by. I am not the most passionate, creative or elaborate writer but I will say I have allowed God to guide me in his direction with my dream job and I am grateful for this.
He has also given me opportunities to speak in a public forum, yikes! I feel honored and trust in him every time I speak or style these amazing women. This too is God’s will.
Now that I was able to allow God to take control of what I thought was in my control I had peace. After trying to have a baby for 2 1/2 years and beating myself up for not being able to get pregnant and questioning everything that I didn’t do our could have done I finally accepted God’s will to come in our lives.
Ladies, I can’t tell you how hard this was on us and our marriage. It’s that control thing that we struggle with.
It’s hard to have faith when you can’t see it right in front of you. We all want that big sign from God. Maybe God ringing my doorbell and sitting down for a cup of coffee so we can chat about these things, yeah right!
The problem is that I was getting those big signs and I just chose not to listen to them. I mean he was in my house listening to me while I prayed and drank my coffee. He was there, I just wasn’t allowing him in my thoughts and expecting too much.
Finally, my heart was whole and I could hear him. If it’s God’s will for us to have a child and I need to go through the learning process of having a baby then so be it, it’s your will.
Ladies, Jeffery and I are very private people so we kept this little baby making secret to ourselves and we ultimately wanted our friends and family not to worry about us. We prayed and gave it all to the Lord.
I was into a month of planning a girls trip to California. I was so excited! That’s where I wanted to go to fashion school and I dreamed of being a news correspondent for E-News.
I was finally getting to see what Cali was all about. It’s funny how things work in God’s timing. I found out 2 months before I headed out to California that I was pregnant!
We could not have been more happy and I more hormonal than ever. Those hormones can really mess you up ladies but I was not complaining. Well, maybe a little, but it was my hormones.
So God prepared me and my little Dill pickle for a fun trip to Cali. Not how or what I expected but I enjoyed it and had the best time with some fantastic friends. Praise God!
I wasn’t looking so hot but, we sure were thrilled!
Both Jeffery and I have always lived a simple life. We never wanted more or needed more. We were grateful to have food on the table and a roof over our head and now we have a healthy little boy.
I started blogging more and God was blessing me with some wonderful clients. I lost my job and both Jeffery and I prayed about me staying at home and working hard on my blog and growing Centsibly Southern Chic.
What a wonderful husband, ladies. He has never encouraged me to find somewhere else to work to bring in more income.
He has wanted me to be a mommy that can love and live her dream. I mean, I would love to be busy, busy, busy with clients, who wouldn’t?
But, I don’t take for granted what God has or continues to bless me with. I really do appreciate these women he has put in my life and their trust in me.
This is definitely God’s will and his journey and I’m just taking this gift and trusting in the journey he has in store for us.
Fast forward to now. for some reason I feel called to write to you all about this new journey that God is taking us on. I will be the first to admit that this journey has been a struggle. One that I have been fighting for a few months now.
Let’s just get to the nitty gritty of it all. Jeffery and I do not want a pity party when it comes to this blog write up, honestly we just hope you can allow God into your lives and trust in his will.
It took me until today to finally open my heart about sharing these issues with you through Jeffery’s approval. I have to be very delicate about these things because once again Jeffery and I are very private people.
We don’t want people worrying about us and we have both come to realize through these tough and trying times that there is hope that we can see God in our family, friends and random strangers.
Without dragging on, and I am really good at that, here is why I or we realized what God’s will is.
Recently, times have been hard for Jeffery’s business. We never thought that we could get to this point in our lives. We have had a few struggles here and there but what we have dealt with recently has really been a blow to our hearts.
I have had a lot of questions of why does this continue to happen to us. It was question after question, doubt after doubt and I kept saying God I believe in you and have faith in you but really I was fooling myself and saying what I thought sounded good.
I was being selfish. You would have thought that I would have learned my lesson from my past experiences, right? As followers of Christ it doesn’t mean we will not fail. Honestly it’s a good thing that I was being selfish and falling hard because this has allowed me to see his will in my life.
I can tell you we have truly been blessed, we have our health, we have a sweet and spunky little boy, we have family and friends that love us and pray with us and for us and most of all we have our faith!
We are not sure what God has in store for us in the next few months, but we do know we are totally relying in him and his will. We know that his timing is perfect and even as I write this blog he has spoken to me to share this with you or someone who may be struggling with something in their life.
Someone once told me God sees all of our struggles the same, no matter what type of struggles they are.
I could go through the long story of what we are struggling with but I will keep some things private as of now because of reasons that I think God wants to heal us and those that this may affect.
I was questioning so much the last few months and I finally heard God speak to me. Once I heard him I shared with Jeffery and we both agreed to share it.
It’s interesting and amazing how his plans for us are so divine. For example, we have tried to have another baby for a little over two years now and with all the struggles we have recently experienced I now see why and what his plan may ultimately be.
His will will be done, and we are faithful in this. I am so glad I finally was able to give it all to the Lord, we have prayed, we have cried and have truly felt like we have been at the lowest point in our lives.
But guess what folks, we aren’t at our lowest point. We are at our highest because we are both faithful!
Listen to God and trust in his will, because his will is what will get you out of that deep dark hole and understand that he has a purpose in your life.
I thank him for allowing me to share what I called struggles which have showed us our strengths with you.
And here is a little bit of advice I would like to share with you. We never know what’s going on behind closed doors. Please don’t pass judgment and assume everyone has it made. This is something I think we all struggle with.
We need to pray for everyone no matter your social status or how your walk is with the Lord. It’s about relying on each other and constantly praying for even that random stranger you meet on the street.
We don’t know people’s struggles like I said God sees everyone’s struggles the same. This is something we have learned through this process.
God is the redeemer and it takes his children to prove that. I am blessed and so very grateful to be on this journey with Jeffery and Dill wherever he may take us we are forever grateful and thankful.
Wow! It has taken a lot of time for me to say that and praise God for that! And thank you, sweet friends and family who have been there for us and continue to be there. We love you all! God bless you all!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.